ugly bag of mostly voyager

“You kissed him back.”

Kathryn straightened her spine at his accusatory tone. “I beg your pardon, Commander?”

Chakotay reached behind him and pulled the terrace door closed, firmly and decisively. The hum of chatter immediately dimmed. For no reason at all, Kathryn’s pulse picked up.

Her first officer was clearly reining himself in. A deep breath, and Chakotay spoke again, sounding calmer this time. “All right,” he said. “It’s none of my business what you choose to do in your spare time, or who you choose to be with. But B'Elanna is my friend and I won’t stand by and see her hurt. So tell me,” his voice had started rising again, “just how long have you and Paris been sneaking around behind her back?”

Kathryn’s jaw dropped.

Chakotay snorted. “You two aren’t exactly discreet, Kathryn. How long? Two years, three? Since you broke him out of prison? It’s why you were so angry when they started dating, isn’t it?”

She finally managed to speak through her shock. “I was angry because aliens were messing with my brain chemistry! It had nothing to do with Tom and B'Elanna!” She shook her head. “Chakotay, this is crazy.”

“Then tell me I’ve got it wrong,” he demanded. “Tell me why you kissed him back.”

“I didn’t –” Kathryn stopped, chewing her lip. Had she? In all honesty, could she deny she’d responded to Tom’s kiss… even for a moment?

She thought about how it had felt – his lips, his hands – and how long it’d been since anybody touched her that way. Maybe she’d have responded to anyone who treated her like a woman.

It had felt good, she decided defiantly. And even she deserved to feel good once in a while. Didn’t she?

She lifted her chin. “So what if I did?” she demanded.

“What about B'Elanna?” Chakotay glowered. “Were you thinking about her when her boyfriend stuck his tongue down your throat?”

“Actually, Chakotay, no I wasn’t,” Kathryn snapped, stepping closer. “I wasn’t thinking about anyone else.”

“That much was clear!” Chakotay moved forward a step, glaring down at her.

She knew she’d hurt him – she’d caught the flicker across his face before he masked it with anger – and she felt a twinge of guilt. “He took me by surprise,” she muttered.

Chakotay growled something under his breath. “And it took you thirty seconds to come to your senses?”

That annoyed her again. “And he’s a good kisser,” she shot back. She was shocked at the words coming out of her own mouth, but she couldn’t stop. “Very good. Really knows what he’s doing, and as for his hands –”

She didn’t get any further. Couldn’t – not with the hot mouth that stopped her speech, swallowing the bitter words in sweetness. And skill, she thought, breath stuttering in her throat, wow, talk about knowing what he’s doing …

And that was before she felt warm hands spreading across her back, drawing her closer, or the way her arms raised and curled around his neck and her body moulded to his, or his assurance as he nudged her backward into the shadows until her back hit the wall – she was grateful for it, really, and for the hard press of his thigh between hers, because her own legs were too weak to hold her up –

Chakotay pulled back, breathing hard, one arm still supporting her around the waist as he wiped his mouth the back of his other hand.

“So tell me, Kathryn,” his voice was rough, “were you thinking about Tom Paris just now?”

“Who?” she said faintly, eyes wide.

“Good answer,” he said with a touch of smugness she supposed he’d earned, and he leaned in to kiss her again.