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Summary: Paris and Janeway prove that people just can't hold their liquor in the 24th century.


Characters: Janeway, Paris, Chakotay, Torres, Kim, Tuvok, EMH, Kes, Neelix

Codes: Janeway/Paris, Chakotay/Torres, Kim/f


Disclaimer: 'Tis of Paramount importance that my reader understand that I've borrowed temporarily these folks from TV land. I promise I will put them back when they have had their fun, and I'm making nothing out of this, so don't sue - no harm done!


Notes: Please fasten your seatbelt and keep your tongue firmly in your cheek.

Rated M

Part 3: Hangover

AUTHORISATION: Ens. Jenny Delaney, psi-1-5-psi-2
DISTRIBUTION: Ens. Harry Kim, sigma-7-4-1-rho
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 07:02

SUBJECT: Is it true!?

Word on the lower decks is the Captain got frisky last night with none other than everyone's favourite pilot. Seeing as you're his best friend, I figured you'd know. So come on, Harry, spill it!


PS. Last night was incredible. You weren't kidding about those musician's hands of yours ... ;)

AUTHORISATION: Ens. Harry Kim, sigma-7-4-1-rho
DISTRIBUTION: Lt. B'Elanna Torres, 1-3-sigma-4-6
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 07:25

SUBJECT: Faster than warp speed

Seems the lower decks are already gossiping about Tom and the Captain. Both of them turned up late for Alpha Shift and headed for the ready room at the earliest possble moment. The Captain put a level 10 lockout on the ready room and sent Tuvok a message saying she wasn't to be disturbed for anything less than a red alert. I thought his eyebrows would go into orbit!

By the way, how's Commander Chakotay? Funny, he had a very distinctive bite mark on his face on the bridge this morning. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? ;)


AUTHORISATION: Lt. B'Elanna Torres, 1-3-sigma-4-6
DISTRIBUTION: Ens. Harry Kim, sigma-7-4-1-rho
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 07:44

SUBJECT: Look who's talking!

I saw you and Jenny Delaney locked at the lips in the stores cabinet. Don't try to deny it, Harry!

But, since you asked, Commander Chakotay is very, very good indeed ...


AUTHORISATION: Mess Officer Neelix, zeta-zeta-7-1-3
DISTRIBUTION: Med. Asst. Kes, 7-3-omikron-4
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 09:54

SUBJECT: Success!


I don't think there could be any doubt that last night's party was my crowning triumph. Commander Chakotay has already asked me for my recipe for Klingon blood wine, and when I was checking the stores this morning I noticed that the entire stock of egg-nog has been drained dry.

By the way, there's something I've been wanting to give you. Mr Paris' cheesecake sculpture seemed to attract so many admirers last week that I thought I'd try my hand at it myself. I completely forgot about it in all the excitement last night, but if you'd join me in my quarters tonight, perhaps we could share my own little artistic masterpiece? It's a dead ringer for you, if I do say so myself.

Oh, and I managed to put aside a bottle of egg-nog for a special occasion, and I'd say this qualifies. See you at 1900 hours?

Love, Neelix

AUTHORISATION: Cmdr. Chakotay, 9-1-beta-4-7
DISTRIBUTION: Capt. Kathryn Janeway, 1-6-alpha-3-4-3
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 10:04

SUBJECT: Bridge operations

Er, Captain, I'm aware it's your privilege to spend the entire shift in your ready room if you so please, but you have been in there for several hours now, and Ensign Batehart will have to pull a double duty shift if you want him to keep covering the helm for Lt. Paris.

I don't suppose you'd like to send him out when you're finished with him?


AUTHORISATION: Capt. Kathryn Janeway, 1-6-alpha-3-4-3
DISTRIBUTION: Cmdr. Chakotay, 9-1-beta-4-7
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 10:15

SUBJECT: Duty shifts

Mr Paris and I have been going over shuttle schematics, Commander. However, since he's needed on the bridge, I'll send him out in a few moments.

I'd like to point out that Mr Paris' performance over the past twenty-four hours has been, shall we say, exemplary. I don't think there's any need for his previous reprimand to remain on his record.


AUTHORISATION: Cmdr. Chakotay, 9-1-beta-4-7
DISTRIBUTION: Capt. Kathryn Janeway, 1-6-alpha-3-4-3
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 10:18

SUBJECT: Schematics, hmm?

Mr Paris must be designing an award-winning shuttle, judging by the cries of delight we've all heard emanating from your ready room for the past four hours. Don't worry, Kathryn, your secret's safe with me. And the rest of the bridge crew.

C ;)

AUTHORISATION: Capt. Kathryn Janeway, 1-6-alpha-3-4-3
DISTRIBUTION: Lt. Thomas Paris, 8-gamma-7-9-epsilon
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 15:25

SUBJECT: Improper conduct
ATTACHED: reprimand.txt


Please see my message to you dated Saturday 26 December, 2372 (attached).

I'm still waiting for an explanation on that cheesecake sculpture. Were you measuring me for another one last night? It's the only explanation I can find. Perhaps I should charge you with seducing your commanding officer and throw you in the brig.

On the other hand, your transgressions could be overlooked, if you were willing to repeat them...

K :)

AUTHORISATION: Lt. Thomas Paris, 8-gamma-7-9-epsilon
DISTRIBUTION: Capt. Kathryn Janeway, 1-6-alpha-3-4-3
SENT: Friday 1 January, 2373
TIME: 15:32

SUBJECT: RE: Improper conduct


Much as I appreciate your high spirits and enthusiasm in boosting my ... er, morale, I think even you will agree that our behaviour at last night's New Year's party in the mess hall was indescribable. Luring me to your quarters and having your wicked way with me was not only an incredibly wanton act but could, if not frequently repeated, lead to a minor medical emergency. I would be happy to converse with the Doctor at length on this issue.

Your saucy glances across the bridge this morning were also neither necessary nor in good taste.

I'm sure my replicator and holodeck privileges are hereby confiscated for a period of one week (again). You, however, will report to my quarters at 2200 hours tonight so that I may lick every square millimetre of your (sculptable) body. Any future transgressions will earn you double shifts in my bed and could possibly result in removing your frown - and clothing - from active duty forever. Consider yourself warned.

T Paris, aroused

PS. Who needs cheesecake, anyway? :)


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